The storms a comin'

Well, we are starting to brace a little bit for Tropical Storm Ernesto. Just a little wee storm but a storm nonetheless! It is starting to drizzle outside now and the wind is picking up just a little. But it doesn't look like it is going to be too bad. It is forecasted to make landfall right above us near Charleston. But we are supposed to get quite a bit of rain and some winds.

They cancelled schools here for tomorrow. So the kids are kinda excited about that. Although they will be cooped up in the house most of the day with nothing to do except bug me. We do have to go to Savannah, GA in the afternoon so Ryan-Guy can get his braces off. I didn't have the heart to cancel that appointment. We will just have to weather the storm. He has had his braces on for almost 3 years. So he is so ready. He is afraid that he is going to have a white line across his teeth. But I reckon we will see. At least he isn't going to miss school for the appointment...ha!

So please pray that our trip will be a safe one. Savannah is about an hour away. And I really don't like to drive in the rain, much less a tropical storm. Hope that you guys are all staying dry. Have a great Thursday!
UPDATE: 9:45am Ok so it is just raining a little, like barely a drizzle and the trees are not even moving. My flag out front is still! I guess it will rain on and off all day but it looks like we lucked out once again! Jordan and Jackson are playing Play-Doh making me all kinds of neat low calorie snacks...0 points!

A new journey

Each new day brings a new way to praise the Lord. And today is a new day! Today is my brother's 2nd day at Faith Home. I am sure that this is not going to be an easy journey for him but it is a journey he has to take nonetheless. I am so proud of him for taking this step.

God is in the business of putting lives back together. He does not always do it the way that we expect Him to. But He always does it in a way that is best for us! I know that I don't particularly like the path we are on. But I know that there is a plan for all of us.

Trials are apart of life, especially life with Christ. I known that when my husband was going through his trials, both literal and spiritual, he would often ask me when I was on the way out of the door going to church without him if I would pray for him to get out of the situation he was in. At first, yes I did, but soon my prayer became that he would stay strong and for the Lord to do whatever was best for him. And He did.

It was and still is very despairing when I think about the big picture. I definitely would not have wanted this for my family. But because of these trials I have become a much stronger woman. I have become quite independent. And whether or not my husband has changed or not, I know that I am a better person because of these trials. I have grown in more ways than I could ever describe to you.

As long as we are in this world, we are going to have trials. It is a definite way of life here. Sometimes not so fun but if we learn from them then, yes, it is all worth it. We also may not even understand why things happen, but He will always bring the good out of every situation. I have learned many spiritual lessons from our trials. Some not really what I would have wanted.

So, this is also my prayer for my brother. I know that this is going to be a tough time for him. But after witnessing him on Sunday morning in church I could tell that he has finally given his cares and trials to the Lord. God has great, great plans for Bernie and I personally can't wait to see what they are.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many
kinds. James 1:2

Bernie and my Dad yesterday

WW-wk9

I am finally below 200~woohoo! I lost 3.4 pounds this week for a total of 20.4 which puts me at 199.2. I am so excited! I was so excited after weighing in that I don't think I even really listened at the meeting. So I really don't have anything to share from it.~sorry~

After the meeting the Flip Flop Club went out to eat at Applebees. Of course we all ate off of the WW menu. Yummy! I even had dessert, the lemon cheesecake dessert is really good (it's WW). Of course we all had a great time fellowshipping (is this even a word?) and laughing so hard that we almost wet our pants! These are a really great bunch of girls. I am so thankful to have fallen into this group. Next week is Labor Day on Monday so we won't be having a meeting, so until the next Monday...tootle-loo! Yay us!

I have a yard guy

My yard was so bad! I mean so BAD! The grass was probably up to my knees in the backyard! I hated it! My lawn mower broke about a month ago and has not been done since. I have always done our yard. My hubby did it some when he was home, but I just enjoyed getting out there and sweating really hard and having something nice to look at afterwards. Now it is not fun anymore. It has become more of a chore.

But now I have a yard guy. One of my brother's friends has a lawn care business and he came and did it for me. Yay! It looks so much better. All the rain we have had lately has definitely cause my grass to grow faster...duh! I just love the smell of freshly mowed grass. It just started raining again and he just left. So I guess I can't go out and smell it right now so I am telling you guys about it. Aren't you happy?

I will also say that this was a big step for me allowing someone to come over and help me out. I am way too independent, I guess! I always want to just do everything own my own. So now you know! My yard looks great and I now have a yard guy! Baby steps, Angie, baby steps!

My Word Cloud

I saw this at My Quiet Corner tonight and thought I would give it a try to see what would come up. I think that I am very pleased with the words that frequent my blog! If you want to give it a try then go here. Let me know if you do it too!

I hope that everyone is having a great weekend. We are! Today I went to the beach with my sister (Lori) and my sweet, sweet Mason (I miss him so much!). We were only there for about 2 1/2 hours when the rain came a pourin' down! The we loaded up and went to Lori's house and let the kids swim in her pool while we tried to lay out. It was so hot, it really didn't last long. She doesn't quite have the same breeze at her house as the beach had. After we left her house me and the kids went to the Sands (a small waterfront beach type area on the river) and looked for sharks teeth. We found a couple. So we had a good day today. Tomorrow we are going to church with my family. I am really gonna try to be strong and not emotional since Bernie will be there. But I know that I am going to miss him so much. But it is all worth it!

Enjoy your Sunday with family and friends! Tootle-loo!

Storms

My heart has been engulfed by my little brother the past couple days. I am so proud of him for taking a step towards recovery. It has reminded me of the storm on the lake that the disciples encountered while Jesus was not with them. I'm sure that it must have been scary for all of them being out of the lake and the boat rocking and the water crashing in the boat. Can you even imagine? But then they look out across the lake and see the image of Christ walking on the water towards them. I'm sure that that in itself was a frightening sight.

Then they heard that familiar voice, the voice of Christ saying, "It is I; do not be afraid." Then as they took Him in their boat they were immediately back at the shore. Jesus helped them through the storm.

Every spiritual storm has a purpose. It may be to teach us patience or the purity to rely on Him. God always works the storms out for good. And with each storm we face, we grow and are that much stronger. Jesus is always holding His hand out and telling us, "It is I; do not be afraid." So we can relax during the storms and wait patiently to see what God has in store for us.

I know that this is going to be tough on all of us who love my brother. We are going to miss him so much. But he is finally letting God work in his heart. He is taking Jesus' hand and following Him to his recovery. I can't wait until he gets back and HE is back! I love you baby brother. Know that my prayers are always with you...

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry...He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Psalm 40:1,3

I said to "Trust Me!"

"O God, give me the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, the courage to change what should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."

I have really tried to make an honest effort lately to be happy. I am a very happy person anyways but it seems that lately I have caught myself down in the dumps for many different reasons. Oh, I am not grumbling right now. But I am giving myself an attitude adjustment.

People ask me all the time "How can you be so happy and cheerful all the time after all that you have been through these past few years?" I am so glad that I do appear to be that way but it is not always true, I guess. But quite honestly, I have a choice, I could complain all the time or I could just trust in God and let him carry my burdens for me. I am not at all saying that I do this on a daily basis, I am human and sometimes I forget to give it all to Him.

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to
you." 1 Peter 5:7

This is a natural reaction, especially for someone who does not know the Lord. But for believers, such as myself, we should know better and let Him take it. He tells us..."Stop worrying! You are in my care. Let me do it for you. Trust me!" I also know that this a continual, learning process. It is so easy for us to recognize God's hands in the good things but so hard for us to see it in the bad things too. Why are we so reluctant to practice Jesus' teachings?

If we step back and take a look at our lives as God sees it then maybe it wouldn't be so hard for us to let it go and let Him carry that burden. Then we may lose that urge to worry and complain and start "casting our cares on Him".




Think of it this way...what if our children left the house everyday and worried about how we (their parents) would care for them? Wouldn't that make us sad? Wouldn't we be grieved on many levels because of that? Their concerns are our concerns, as is our Father's. It is the same thing!

Pizza Meme

Ok, I was tagged to do this Pizza meme by Jen at a Good Cup Of Coffee. So here goes! This is gonna be fun!

What was your favorite thing about being a kid? I loved being a kid. We have a very large family. I loved having family get togethers (still do). I can remember going to Hilton Head Island for family reunions with my grandmother (MaMa). There was a pool and I got to swim like the entire time. I would get to see aunts and uncles and cousins that I only saw once a year. I always looked forward to those times. I guess then I grew up and was too cool to go and now I miss them.

What was your favorite subject in school? I can't really say I had a favorite subject...maybe math, algebra. But my most favorite class in high school was when I was on the yearbook staff. We got to do tons of fun things and I love coming up with new ideas (still do).

Who was your best friend when you were 10? My best friend was Beth Phillips. She was and still is a very good friend. It is hard to come by those types of friends anymore. We went a long time and were out of touch but we picked right up where we left off. I was always at her house as a girl. I always went on vacations with them. They were the ones that took me to the mountains for the first time ever. Being a coastal girl, I had never really been away from the coast. We always had the best time. Lots of very good memories!

If you could be any animal what would you be? I would have to say probably a cheetah. They are so mysterious and beautiful and fast. (this was a hard one, I'd rather not be an animal.)

What would you change about you school, occupation or life right now? I would not change a whole lot. The Lord has blessed us so much. I know that everything happens for a reason. I would probably want to make a little bit more money so I can continue to stay home with my kids all the time.

What's your favorite color? I love pink and green (like a lime green). They are such bright and cheerful colors....makes me smile.

What is your favorite type of crust and toppings? I like thin crust with pepperoni and cheese mainly. I do like ham (or Canadian bacon) with pineapple but never get it because the kids think it is gross.

Thanks Jen for the tag, it was fun! Anybody else wanna do this one let me know so I can check yours out too. Hope you all are having a blessed day!

WW-wk 8

Here it is Weight Watchers Monday (actually it's almost Tuesday). So I am gonna be real quick here. If you want toread what I learned tonight in the meeting then go here and look for the post "How does your seed grow?" I didn't put a direct link because these ladies are very inspiring so browse around and glean some weight loss wisdom.

I had a good week this week. I was very excited. I can honestly say that this is the easiest weight loss plan I have ever done. I can have whatever I want, no questions asked, I just need to stay within my budget. So, when I am deciding what to eat, I ponder on it and decide if it is really worth the point value. Is it really gonna be that good? Nah, so I'll put the Oreos and M&M's back up. Will power, I have gained a lot of will power the past 2 months.

I lost 2.8 pounds this week, for a total of 17 pounds. So, now I am at 202.6 pounds. It was kinda funny because Lori and I started at the same time and tonight we had both lost 17 pounds exactly. Of course, she is .8 from her goal weight and I am about 30 or 35 away. You go girl! Thanks Lori for making me go 2 months ago, ok, not making me but asking me to go with you! Yay us!

Pictures from the Flip Flop Club

Yummy dinner!

So, my sister insisted on taking a picture of my plate before and after since I am such a picky eater. I hope I did her proud! Who would have ever thought I would have eaten fish tacos?

My plate before (Jessica behind me)

My plate after

After dinner conversation

L to R: Paige, Amy, Ivette, Jessica, Me and Sandy (Lori is behind the camera)

The Flip Flop Club

Sandy, Lori, Jessica, Me, and Ivette (Amy and Paige had to leave early)

Fun at Cheesecake's house

OMG, we had so much fun last night at our first ever WW supper club at Jessica's house aka Cheesecake. It was so good. And I am not sure I have ever told you guys how much of a picky eater I am. Well, I am a picky eater. I don't like many vegetables, which makes eating healthy quite a challenge. But I am really trying to expand my horizon's regarding my food choices.

So, when I got to Jessica's house I was a little nervous about her menu. She had a really good appetizer. Then she served fish tacos. (I was really worried about them.) It just doesn't sound appetizing. But they were really good. She also served black beans and corn, mango chutney, homemade salsa, ginger coconut rice, and ginger slaw. I ate everything except the ginger slaw. And it was really good. I bet Jess stayed in the kitchen ALL.DAY.LONG to get all of this ready for us. Then for dessert she made homemade tiramasu. I had never had it but mmmm it was good. (4 points for a 1/2 inch slice.) She modified the recipe to make it WW friendly. I really could have eaten another slice but didn't, although Lori did. shame*shame!

We had great conversation and we even named ourselves the Flip Flop Club (duh...we all had flip flops on). The we all tried to give each other our own little funny nicknames. It was just good, clean, silly fun. Jessica is such a great person and is so much fun to be around. We all have a lot to live up to when it comes our time to host the Flip Flop Supper Club. She even printed up fancy menus with all of the point value next to them. Lori is hosting next month...can't wait already!

Losing weight is kinda fun when you are doing it together with family and friends. Oh, Lori did take pictures but she hasn't forwarded them to me yet. Come on, Lori! We are gonna take a picture at every dinner party so we can see our monthly weight loss!

So, thanks Jessica for being such a great hostess. YOU ROCK! See ya tomorrow evening when we all weigh-in. Yay us!

Weekend plans...

I can't wait till tomorrow evening. We are going to have our first Weight Watchers Supper Club at Jessica's house. We decided to do this a few weeks ago and it is finally here. I guess you are wondering why I am so excited...huh...are ya? Well, I really don't get out much, especially with just the girls. That's grown-up girls, my friends. I love hanging out with the girls every now and again. We all need a little girl time, right?

So it is going to be me, Lori (my sister), Amy (my other sister), Sandy (my brother's girlfriend), Ivette (friend) and of course Jessica (since it is at her house!). I am not sure if anyone else is coming, so if you are in the neighborhood, then stop on by. Jess is serving fish tacos, I think. I'm not real sure about fish tacos but I guess we will see. The thing I am most excited about is whenever we all get together, we laugh so hard it hurts. (I need to remember to tighten my abs when I laugh, could help, right?) After dinner we are all going to go for a walk around the neighborhood. It is gonna be a really good time, I am sure! I will have to take some pictures to share, if stupid blogger will let me upload pictures. The sign of a true blogger is the camera she carries with her EVERYWHERE! Go figure!

Tomorrow morning we are going to visit my hubby. Thank goodness he is only 25 minutes from our home. The kids are excited. We can stay for about 4 hours. Although Jordan is going to a birthday party so we will have to leave a little early. The visitation room is like a big cafeteria with lots of round tables and chairs. We have to sit at an assigned table. There are vending machines with snacks and microwaveable meals and of course soda machines. He loves it when we come visit, not only because he misses us but he gets to eat things that he normally doesn't get to eat. He is known for eating a chicken sandwich, a double cheeseburger, a couple packs of wings, and a couple of strawberry shortcake cups and a candy bar or 2. Sounds like a lot but I guess since he doesn't get to do it often, he indulges when he can. We will play umpteen games of Uno or war or Go-fish or maybe even checkers. We will talk about the kids and school. They all just got really good progress reports so they can't wait to tell him. Jackson will probably arm wrestle his daddy and the girls will sing him a song or two or show him a new dance they learned on the playground. Basically, it is the same visit everytime we go. I just sit there and watch my kids with their daddy, every minute is precious.

After we get home, Mommy gets to cut the grass and work in the yard. Fun, fun! I totally can't wait....NOT! But it is something I guess I will have to do for a little bit longer. I'll be alright, it always is. So, what are your Saturday plans? Doin' anything fun? Huh, huh are ya? Well hope you have fun doin' it! Happy Saturday!

NOTE: Jessica, my spell check said your name was spelled wrong too, it also suggested cheesecake. Geez, I wonder what that means? Are we having 0 point cheesecake tomorrow night for dessert?

Where is my little manly man?

It's kinda funny. Since my hubby is not home, and won't be for another 16 months, and Ryan (15) stays with my mom and dad during the school year so he can go to a better high school across town, poor 'ole Jackson is stuck here with all the girls. I have read enough parenting books and attended enough parenting classes at church to know that he needs to be doing "manly" things. You know like fishing and playing ball and grunting and making f*rt noises and all those other guy things. I try to do fun things with him that don't involve baby dolls and barbies. Being around us girls all the time, I reckon he just takes after us.

When the girls are painting their nails, he will come back and sure enough they have painted his too. And he loves playing daddy when Jordan plays baby dolls. He is nurturing and loves to snuggle with me at bed time. He likes to watch all those silly Nick shows, like Lizzy, Raven, etc.

Of course, he would rather be doing the guy type things but I am a girl and God made us girls to be girls. So, it worries me that he isn't getting hardly any guy time lately. I hate to ask friends and family to do this with him because they have their lives too. I feel like I would be bugging them. But then again, I don't want my son to miss out on those things that he should be doing with his daddy.

I think that he needs a mentor/a buddy to hang out with on occasion. Maybe to take him fishing or throw around the baseball or to scratch their butts together, something. I don't want these crucial years to slip by and regret not doing something about it later when it may be too late. (OK, maybe not butt scratching but you know what I mean.) Jackson is definitely all boy, don't get me wrong. He loves to run around with his shirt off like his big brother and things like that but he really needs an adult to step in and do things with him.

Ok, now here is the problem, I am really not sure how to approach this. There have been several men at church who have offered to spend time with him, but they have never followed through with their offer. Yes, I have a dad and 2 brothers and 2 BILs but they all have their own kids or jobs or whatever. So, what should I do? Wait 16 months and hope for the best? I also want to make sure that I absolutely trust this person.

As I reread this I realize that I just need to ask around and find someone, I already know what the answer is. But I am not the kind of person that ever asks for help. I get really nervous whenever I have to ask anyoneto do anything for us. (I guess I need to get over this!)

I wrote this post wanting your advice but in the end answered my own question. Funny how that happens, huh? (Now, why won't blogger let me uypload any pictures? It haven't been able to do that for a while now, any ideas on that? Help!)

You know the thing about blogging...

...is that you really get to make some really good friends. I don't know about the rest of you, but I truly feel a connection with all of you out there in the blogosphere. Being a small town girl, I kinda feel like I have broadened my realm. I have gotten out in the world, so to speak. I never thought that I would have friends that I feel so close to that I have never even met. I look forward to reading your blogs everyday and when I don't get to do it daily, I feel like a piece of my day is missing. But unfortunately, life still goes on beyond the blog world.

With that said, right after I started blogging, geez eons ago, I had an awesome blog welcome from Blest With Sons. She used to live here several years ago, I didn't know her then but she was my son's choir teacher. We have several mutual friends and one of those friends forwarded my business site to her. I remembered seeing her in the hallways, but not sure we ever really met. She was so sweet and even ordered a purse from me, 2 actually. Come to find out 2 of her most favorite people in the world are my very own nephews, Dustin and Brandon (the twins). She is one of the funniest, straight forward people I know. Now I blog with her and several other woman at One Weigh Or Another. Come get encouraged by our journey to weight loss.

Then, I was so surprised a few months ago when GiBee from Kisses of Sunshine called me. She had ordered a purse that I special made for her and she was calling to thank me for it. She is just as sweet and real as she is on her blog. It was so cool to sit and just talk to her. GiBee, I hope you still love your purse.

Then just last week I got a phone call from Faith at Faithful Mommy. Now this is a funny story that goes to show how small this world really is. When Winston passed away 2 weeks ago we had to travel to Atlanta for the funeral. Well, Faith was reading the paper and saw that Winston was being buried in her hometown. She emailed me and told me. I truly thought that it was so cool that she made the connection. We did not get to meet, yet, but I am sure that we will in the near future because my MIL has moved right up there close to where she lives. Anyways, she called me last week and I.LOVED.TALKING.TO.HER! She was so encouraging to me. She is the true meaning of a Titus woman. I definitely feel like I have a true friend that I can call on anytime I need encouraging. Thanks Faith!

Then, Sunday I met Monica from Homespun Heart. I had been reading her blog for a long time when I recognized a link on it that made me think that maybe we lived in the same town. Well, it turns out we go to the same church. I have been trying to figure out who she is for a couple months now. But she has been busy going on bedrest and then having a beautiful baby girl. So, Sunday I saw a woman with a brand new baby and knew that it had to be her. We even sit on the same side of the church. So, we both introduced ourselves at the same time. Her children are just as beautiful as they are in the pictures. Monica, I hope that oneday soon we can maybe have lunch together or something.

Then, of course there is my real life sister, Lori at Making Memories of Us. And her friend from high school who was there when my first son was born, Laura at Our Life and Times. Then there is my brother's girlfriend Sandy at Heart Strings. Let's see who else? Well, my friend Jessica was trying to start a blog but hasn't gotten it off the ground yet. Come on Jess! And my friend Debi from church started one, brand new The Journey Continues, go welcome her, would ya!

So, this may be a big world but it is so cool to know that I have tons of new friends from all over that I can count on whenever I just need to spill my guts and beg for prayer or whatever. And I do count on that and am encouraged by that! Thanks guys!

WW-wk7

After last week and gaining .6, I was a little nervous about weighing in tonight. But I lost 3.4 lbs. for a total of 14.2 lbs. I really tried to make an added affort to eat right this week. I think it helped that I ate dinner with a WW buddy twice this week. (I loved it Jessica!) She made a whole pizza that was about 16/17 points, so we halfed it and each ate about 8 points. (Now that was half a pizza and we didn't even finish it all!) It was really good! Then we walked about 2 miles or so, then walked again the next night before another great dinner. It is really important to have support. If you surround yourself with other people that are eating right then you will not be tempted to 'cheat'. That is my tip for tonight!

So Saturday night we are having our first WW supper club. Jessica is hosting the first one. She thinks that she is gonna make fish tacos. She says that they are really good, they better be, girlie! I trust her. I had my first taste of asparagas the other night at her house. It was not bad but I don't think I could eat a whole serving. At least I tried it, right? So, my prayer for this week is that I would make smart choices in the things that I eat and that I will not give into temptations.

First day of lots!

Well, tomorrow is the start of school for many around here. My 3 little ones started in July so they are settled. But Ryan starts the 10th grade in the morning. I still can't believe that my sweet baby darlin' is growing up so fast. He is taller than I am, about 6'1". I never thought I would have to look up at him. He is such a handsome young man. And I am so proud of him! I don't think I say it enough! I love you baby! (I know you read this, you nosy little booger!)

Tomorrow is also the first day of all day preschool for my 5th child. Oh, you thought I only had 4 kids! Well, don't tell my sister, Lori, but her son is part mine too! My sweet nephew Mason has been with me since Lori went to work soon after his birth. I have kept him for almost 4 years. It broke my heart to think of that sweet baby going to a daycare center so I volunteered to keep him for her and Brett. I honestly can'y believe that it has been that long.

Well, my sister has decided to let him go to preschool 5 days a week. Apparently it is time to cut the Aunt Angie umbilical cord! Ugh! I am so sad. This kid is one of the most amazing kids I know. He is so smart and quirky and funny, no, he is hilarious! He is just gonna blossom even larger than life now that he is going to real school. He soaks up things like a sponge.

So, tonight I am a little sad that my little buddy won't be adorning my home on a daily basis. I am also gonna miss seeing my sister every morning and afternoon. We have some of our best talks at those times. She is one of my very best friends and I am so thankful that God made us both sisters and friends!

Now what am I gonna do with my time? Just kidding...actually I am thinking about trying to find a small part-time job, maybe in the mornings. Since Lori paid me to keep Mason, I now need to try to replace that income. I am kinda scared about working again outside of my home. I have become very independent, not having to answer to anyone and coming and going as I please. Obviously, I still want to keep doing my own business, making purses and such. So, I guess we will see what the Lord has in store for me now!

Mason and Ryan I hope you both have a great first day of school. I love both of you!

Friday's Feast 106

Ok, since I am doing WW I think that I am going to participate in the feast today...0 calories, 0 fat and high in fiber, therefore, 0 points!! What could be better than that?

Appetizer: Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood.
I remember I used to have an inch worm, it was green and I could get on it and bounce up and down and it would go. It was always at my grandma's house. (I loved that thing!)

Soup: If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?
No doubt, gas!

Salad: Approximately how many times per day do you think about your significant other?
All day long, everyday...

Main Course: What is something you believe in 100%?
Absolutely Jesus Christ and that he died on the cross for my sins so that I could live forever with Him!

Dessert: Name one thing you have done this week that you would consider a "good deed."
This week? Hmmm...I took a cobbler to a good friend. I am own my way to the school to sell popcorn for the PTO! (is that really a good deed?) Last week was my really big good deed week!

Foolish woman

I am in desperate need of some more parenting advice. It seems that my all of my children have all of a sudden become the laziest of creatures. All of them, even Jackson who used to always be willing to lend mommy a hand. I can't really identify the moment this started but now it is catching up with me and our house.

Since I am a stay at home mom and a work at home mom (only income), I am really busy all the time. Perhaps this is it. I wake up and put the kiddos on the bus and come back home to start sewing, just about everyday. I really try to get what I can get done while they are at school. I am not really sure that I have done that yet. It seems that I am always working on something till the wee hours of the night every single day. Sometimes I just don't have a choice if I want to pay the bills.

I don't want to be the foolish lady from Proverbs 14:1 "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." But it seems I have lost all control. I get so overwhelmed with supporting our family that I have essentially neglected my children. Not in the child social services kind of way but in the everyday routine kinda way. Are you following me?

It seems I have turned into a real "nagger mom". I ask the kids to do things around the house or whatever and then I have to go back to doing my work, only to find later that no one did what they were asked. Then I turn into the "screaming mom" who threatens or worse, I just do it myself. Big mistake, I know!

My husband seems to think that I am not hard enough on them. He talks to them on visits but he is not here to enforce his rules. I have to do it! He keeps saying "you just wait till I get home." Well, in their little minds he has already been gone a really long time and can not foresee the date when he does come home (16 1/2 mos.). I am just not sure if I can hold it together that much longer. I mean, it seems that when I take a step back and look in, it has gotten progressively worse. Please don't get me wrong, they are not bad kids, they have just taken advantage of this situation and have used it to their likings. Small things, like chores or sibling rivalry. Which I fear will turn into bigger things. They are all little sinners, I get that, I truly do. But what I worry is that I have led them in the wrong direction or rather let it go on too long and now it is a really big issue.

I am only one person and I have to do it all. From house cleaning, laundry, cooking, yard work (the grass is getting high again!), working my business, working my title researches, making cakes, babysitting...all of it. The list could really go on and on, but you get it.

Sometimes we (I) take things for granted, or I used to anyways. Even though my husband was not on the right path, he was a great dad. He had things under control, maybe not to my liking but it worked. We were a team no matter how dysfunctional it was.

Now I have to look at myself, I spent so much time trying to change my husband, maybe it is me that I really need to examine, my own behaviors, attitudes or motives. I am the only person in this world who I can control. I am still not sure I have let God take total control over every aspect of my life. I give Him just a little and say "Ok Lord, give it back, I can take it from here!" It is easier for me to grab for the control instead of the influence. Of course, then when I look back and reflect on that control, I just want to stick my head in a hole (a really deep one)!

I want to build my home, not tear it down! I don't want to be the foolish woman! I am crying out...any advice at all would be greatly received!

Five things tag

I was tagged by Monica at Homespunheart.
5 things in my freezer:

• pizzas for the kids
• hot pockets
• boo boo packs
• Smart Ones
• WW fudge bars

5 things in my closet:

• too many clothes
• lots of flip flops
• some Christmas stuff that wouldn't fit in the shed
• craft box
• suitcases

5 things in my car:

• WW Dining Out Guide
• DVD player (from the trip we just took)
• a switch (from the trip we just took)
• purses (to be delivered today)
• Josh Turner CD

5 things in my purse:

• wallet w/ no money :(
• BeautiControl Lip Gloss
• extra van key
• business cards
• WW point slide

5 things in my wallet:

• Birth certificates (for when we go visit Daddy)
• debit card
• SC driver's license
• PTO Pres. phone #
• Chik-fil-a coupons

I may be the only one left to do this one, so if you haven't done it, then you can do it too! Just let me know!

'Nuff said...

WW-wk6

Well, I am kinda sad to say that this week I didnot do so well. But I will say that I kinda thought it would have been worse. I gained .6. I had a really rough week last week. So much going on and very late nights. We had to eat on the road Saturday night. I had a Wendy's bacon cheeseburger with fries, I had 2 cappucinos to stay awake driving, I had M&M's. Then Sunday after the funeral I had a true country dinner with ham and fried chicken, potato salad, and strawberry shortcake. I am sure that there were other things but right now I am just too tired to think. Plus, I have come down with a yucky head cold! I think I may have .6 ounces of snot running around up here. So, this week I am really gonna try to do better. I may actually get to cook and eat at home.

I will say that the best part of these WW meetings are all my friends. I love it that a bunch of us are doing this together. We have decided to go to Applebee's once a month after the meeting. And we are also going to start a supper club in 2 weeks. Once a month one of us is going to host dinner at our house and prepare a total WW friendly meal! Can't wait! Now I gotta go blow my nose. I really should have blowed my nose before weighing in...maybe next time!

I'm back!

We made it home last night about 11ish from Atlanta. (Boy, what a long boring ride!) The kids fought the whole time in the car! The 3 younger ones were in the back seat of the van and my 15 yo was in the second row with his cousin, 18 yo, then I drove and Teresa kept me company up front. I drove the whole way there. I do not like to drive in heavy traffic so I was a little nervous. But since we got there late, around 1 am, we missed a lot of the yucky traffic. Plus, we went around Atlanta, that helped too.

We got up after very little sleep and got ready for church. My BIL has not been going to church very long, maybe a year or so. But, I tell ya, this man is amazing. I have known him since we were in school together oh so many years ago. His lifestyle was less than admirable. Much like his brother's, my hubby's. But when we walked in to that church and I saw him hugging everybody he saw, I could see that God has definitely touched his heart. Then when the service started and he walked into the choir loft with the choir I got so emotional that I started to cry. I am so thankful that he is finally walking on the right path.

The funeral service was very small. But it was quite emotional. Although Winston was not my kids real grandfather, he has acted in that capacity for several years and they loved him very much. He is already greatly missed.

Before we left for Atlanta we had my grandparent's 60th Wedding Anniversary Celebration. You can go here to read the poem my sister wrote about them and I mean it is right on the dime. (Go ahead, I'll wait for ya here!) Unfortunately, I did not get to help with the clean up (had to get on the road!) which was a lot I am sure. We made so much food and totally over budgeted with that as well. But it was very nice. My Uncle Herman from NC told several stories and had us cracking up. It was a very nice time. Almost the whole cake was eaten, yay! I was cutting really big slices so we wouldn't have too much left over.

Happy Anniversary MotMot & Skeebo, may the Lord bless you with many, many more years!

I love you!

You guys...

It has been a rough couple of days but here I am still standing on the other side of it! Thanks to you guys who were praying for me. You have no idea how much that means to me. So here is a **great big hug** for all of you!

Winston passed away on Wednesday evening. His cousin, my son Ryan and myself were with him when he passed. It was a very sad moment for all of us. But he has gone to be with the Lord now. So we can rejoice in that! This happened so fast that it almost seems as if is a dream and we are gonna walk into NaNa's house and Winston will be right there sitting in his chair feeding Lobo (the dog) and watching Tiger Woods win another championship. He was doing that just last week.

He is going to be buried in Atlanta, so we are going to Atlanta Saturday after my grandparent's 60 anniversary celebration. It is about a 5 hour drive or so. My husband's cousin is going to ride with us and probably drive most of the way because I am so tired. (I ran a red light Wednesday night leaving my MIL's house to go pick up my kids from my Mom's....but I stopped and looked both ways first...I didn't even realize I did it until I was almost all the way through it...ooops. Luckily it was 11:30 at night and no cars were around...especially the cars with the blue lights on top!)

I spent all day yesterday working on the anniversary cake. I have only done 2 other wedding type cakes before. And now I remember why I don't do them. STRESSFUL! This one is a little crooked. I stacked the cakes staggered because we are going to have fresh flowers draped around it. I made probably over a thousand small drop flowers. I maybe only used 200. Talk about over budgeting. (Wish I could do that with my money budget!) So since they are like candy we are going to serve them like candy and use them to decorate different tables.
(Wow, it really looks crooked in the picture...not sure if it is really that crooked!) I also had to make a Wiggles cake yesterday too. Talk about feet aching...oh my goodness! I slept like a baby last night, not sure if I even moved at all!

I still haven't been able to visit too many of your blogs, I miss you! Today we are heading out to the church to get the fellowship hall ready for the anniv. celebration. And we are doing all of the food ourselves so we have to do that too. But we always have fun when we all get together. Me and my sisters and mom, we always laugh so hard that Mom snorts! :)

So please keep us in your prayers this weekend as we travel on very little sleep. By the way, my husband is not very happy about us traveling to Atlanta. We kinda argued about this last night. He hasn't been here to see how close my children and myself have gotten to Winston. He was like their grandfather! He has been in our lives for probably 6 years almost. So, look at me, I am not being very submissive to my husband's wishes. Have I become too independent? I know that he would go if he were here. He is just a worry wart! Oh well...

These are the times...

...when I totally want to kick my husband's behind! Things are rather crazy here in our little corner of the world. I seem to be getting a little more upset with him as the days go forward. Even though it has been over 3 years, I just can't believe that he would make such a stupid choice that would affect our family for many, many years. I know that it was all apart of God's plan, I get that, but sheesh I am busting my booty to make ends meet. (I know He is still working on me too! I get that too!) And I also known that he (hubby) has to deal with knowing that I am here busting my booty. He hates it just as much as I do, at least I think he does!

What he doesn't get is that life still gets in the way. Things happen and for reasons that none of us will ever know the answer to 'why'. We found out about 3 weeks ago that my MIL's (His mother, obviously) boyfriend/companion is dying of cancer. He has 2 brain tumors, lung, liver, kidney, throat and Lord only knows where else. He was fine 5 weeks ago. And now he is dying right before our eyes. My MIL just lost her mother about 2 months ago and she cared for her up until the moment she went home to be with the Lord. Also 9 years ago her husband passed away after battling cancer for a few short months. She cared for him too, at home. All of this has sent her into a bit of a questioning 'why'. Why would the Lord do this to me again? She knows that she will get through this but is having a hard time dealing with everything. Which is natural, right?

Then among that, I still have to maintain my business and produce the orders I receive. I have to keep my house in some sort of up-keep. I have to transport my kids to their different functions, this week it is soccer camp in the evenings after school. We have to get homework done and clean rooms. Last night we didn't get home until well after 11:30 or so from my MIL's house, which means that the kids were real bears this morning. 2 of them left their homework here on the counter...oh well! To say the least I had a grumpy, sassy bunch of younguns to deal with.

And this week I have the honor of making my grandparent's 60th Wedding Anniversary cake, which we will celebrate on Saturday. I am making a 3 tiered cake with small drop flowers for the borders that I have to make ahead of time. So this morning I have been doing those, along with purse orders and making beds and folding clothes and doing dishes that I couldn't get to yesterday (I hate that!), and I really need to be getting over to my MIL's house as soon as possible. She cannot stand to be alone, she is afraid that he is going to pass and she will be the only one there.

The reason I am letting you guys know all about this, is for 1 I know that you will listen and for 2 I need prayer and for 3 I may not be around the blogosphere too much this week. So, if you have missed me commenting, sorry! I will get around to it when things calm down a bit.

Now do you see why I get angry with my husband at times like these?

(If you are my family and you are reading this, I am fine, I just needed to vent a little. I know how you are and you know how I am...I will get through this and look back on it in a couple of weeks. Do not worry about me or my sanity! I am a survivor! Oh, Mom, can the kids get dropped off at your house tonight after soccer camp, I have to take Ryan to his softball game...thanks! Love you!)